Department of unresolved feelings · Est. 1998
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE CENTER
“Please take a number.”
Your feelings are important to us.
Your appointment has been delayed indefinitely.
NO APPOINTMENT. NO SOLUTION. NO PROBLEM.
UNDERSTAFFED
REMAIN CALM
01 / THE WAITING LIST
Patient files
Every case is unique. Every solution is disappointing.
02 / PLEASE VISIT ANOTHER WINDOW
Departments
The right department is always the next one.
03 / WELCOME TO THE SYSTEM
The system is
not here to help.
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE CENTER is a fictional bureaucratic universe for people who are tired, disappointed, overthinking everything and somehow still standing in line.
Some are waiting for a reply. Some are mourning their unrealized potential. Some apologize to furniture. They all came looking for answers. Unfortunately, they came to the wrong department.
Your feelings have been registered.
No further action is guaranteed.
INTERNAL HANDBOOK / REVISION 46
OUR SERVICE PRINCIPLES
EVERY PROBLEM DESERVES A NUMBER
Even if nobody intends to solve it.
YOUR CASE IS IMPORTANT
It is currently on page 847.
PLEASE REMAIN CALM
The employees are also panicking.
ALL SOLUTIONS ARE TEMPORARY
Please keep your receipt.
THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER DEPARTMENT
And they will send you back here.
04 / FINANCIAL DAMAGE DEPARTMENT
The emotional damage token
“Your feelings have been tokenized.”
OFFICIALLY UNNECESSARYAPPROVED BY NOBODY. PROCESSED BY EVERYONE.
TOKEN NAME: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE CENTER
TICKER: [TICKER]
CONTRACT ADDRESS — COMING SOON
05 / SOCIAL MEDIA DEPARTMENT: CURRENTLY ON HOLD
Contact the center
Your message is important to us. Please allow 46 business days for a response.